Get Woke, Go Broke.
Effective immediately, the Embracer Groups have dissolved Volition, makers of the Saints Row franchise and Red Faction in a cruel twist of fate that everyone with enough braincells to rub together saw coming several miles away.
Volition had the bright idea of reviving their dead Saints Row cash cow franchise with a reboot, a reboot that was stated to “go back to the roots” of the criminal gang shooter but rather what resulted was a disgusting woke cesspit of trash featuring unlikeable prissy sissies who were more than likely developer self inserts as the new “Saints”.
The new saints in the Saints Row Reboot feature mainly millennials of various ethnic backgrounds who fight against the patriarchy, the entire story and premise is a complete 180 compared to what fans of Saints Row would actually expect, the writing goes beyond cringeworthy and to top it all off iconic locations within the game such as “Freckle Bitches” had been arbitrarily censored and abbreviated to “FB’s” most likely because the slur of “Bitches” would be deemed sexist and derogatory of women.
Vehicle customization staple known as “Rim Jobs” also had its name altered to Jim Robs simply because it’s the current year and it’s no longer acceptable for modern audiences to make funny puns of sexual acts.
Saints Row community managers began sperging out of control condemning long time fans of the franchise as being degenerate nazis, overall being a piece of fucking shit by spitting in the face of fans of the franchise because they absolutely despise the millennial centric PG-13 “gang warfare” reboot.
And to top it all off, the bastards at Volition doubled down on their atrocious rubbish before its release, responding to social media criticism with arbitrary cringey tweets.
It launched buggy, broken and poorly optimized like all other games in the current year, however Volition went above and beyond with its Woke Row Reboot, going as far as to credit Discord and Reddit moderators in its shit heap, which can now be had for free on PlayStation Plus.
Naturally, the game fucking flopped, it was a receptive failure and a massive financial hit for Volition, Deep Silver and the Embracer Group, with Embracer’s own CEO stating that the game was immensely underwhelming when it came to sales / profit.
Which is why in June, Embracer had a lovely idea, to effectively restructure the studio by moving Volition into the same physical location as Gearbox Software, rather than keeping woke developers on the payroll as Randy Pitchford’s personal coffee servants, the Embrace Group have decided to cut their losses and abolish the studio as a whole.
After thirty years of operations, Volition is dead.
Can’t say that I’ll miss them much considering how more often than not Volition themselves would not listen to the criticism of their fanbase as they continued to drive the Saints Row IP into the goddamn ground with the radical comedy centric Saints Row: The Third and the horrific fourth installment, so much so that they even dragged the franchise into the depths of Hell itself with its shitty Gat Out of Hell standalone DLC release that effectively killed the Saints Row franchise.
Until they brought it back and made jokes about waffles.
Because the funniest thing that Volition have actually written over the past couple of years is its peaceful goodbye message stating that the studio has been closed effective immediately, they absolutely deserve their fate for this is what they chose.
The only issue now is that gamers will never actually see the alleged Saints Row 2 PC patch that Volition had been lying about for the past decade, that is the true tragedy of this closure.
